Main Focus: My older cousin Lyndsay
Points to explore: my evolving relationship with her, progression from jealousy to pity/anger, to admiration and self acceptance- Using her to understand myself.
Scenes/facts/settings: 1. coloring pictures (I wanted to be like her)
2. How I was a brat and used to annoy her (I wanted a mixture of her attention and also to make her life miserable)
3. Grandma devastated about her moving away (jealous that she wasn’t saying things like that about me)
4. her rebellious phase(how I was shocked and disappointed)
5. having a baby(feeling pity and then understanding)
6. going back to school(admiration)
I had a very strange relationship with Lyndsay when I was a child; I loved and hated, idolized and resented her. I thought she was beautiful, cool, smart ( the exact opposite of everything I felt about myself). I want to use this essay to show the evolution of my feelings toward her in direct relation to my understanding and eventual acceptance of myself. I found that when I hated Lyndsay it was also a time when I hated myself, but when I learned to be confident in my own skin, I understood and loved my cousin even more.
